Food for Thought

A close friend asked me a question today. “What do you think Christian community means?” I thought for a moment, and then responded by describing a group of believers who are honest with each other, hold each other accountable, and encourage each other. My friend then began to share with me their own personal discovery of the immeasurable value of community, and how he arrived at this point. My friend told me about his ten-year struggle with a certain sin. No matter what he tried, no matter how much he pleaded with God to help him, complete victory was always out of reach. Only when he chose to create close, open relationships with other believers did he feel valued and experience the consistent accountability he so desperately needed. While he spoke, my mind raced with possibilities. What could the sin be? Was he planning on telling me what it was? How would I react? And then it came. He told me that for ten years, he has been experiencing attraction to other men. 

 

Wham. That particular struggle had never flitted across my mental list as I had scrambled to anticipate his next words. No suitable reply found its way to my lips; I could only silently internalize the revelation I had just heard. Years of Sunday School lessons and church ideology flooded my brain. Homosexuality is a sin. You can’t be a homosexual and be a Christian. At that moment, as I searched my ravaged mind for the truth, I realized with a jolt that my beliefs regarding homosexual tendencies were completely inaccurate and had been for years. Tears welled up in my eyes as I realized how judgmental I was – how many inaccurate assumptions I had cultivated throughout my life with very little thought. Only recently had I second-guessed what I had learned as a child, but now there was no time for questions. I needed answers.

“Homosexuality is a sin.” Yes. Performing homosexual acts is a sin. Heterosexual intercourse outside of marriage is also a sin. Self-mutilation is a sin. Lying is a sin. Being prideful is a sin. All of these sins are equally damaging in the eyes of the Lord. Another friend had once explained it to me this way: Imagine someone struggling with extreme insecurity about their weight. Their self-esteem at zero, they hate the person they see in the mirror. Are these feelings they have sinful? No. These thoughts have been cultivated by the enemy in his attempt to cause this person to stumble. The thoughts are a form of temptation. Only when the insecurities develop into an eating disorder or self-harm does the person give in to temptation and fall into sin. No church-goer would ever say that a girl struggling with her self-esteem should be denied church involvement or even a leadership position. A man struggling with homosexual desires is no different. 

“You can’t be a homosexual and be a Christian.” I hesitate to label this statement as true or false, simply because the answer depends on terminology usage.  Let me offer an alternative question: Is it possible to be a follower of Christ and still struggle with homosexual tendencies? Friends, if you have any questions or doubts about the answer to this question, be assured that the answer is yes. Before my friend told me his struggle, my response to this question was hazy. The words I spoke made sense, but inside, I still had questions. Doubts. I didn’t understand. I wasn’t sure. But my friend’s confession pierced the truth straight into my heart: Some Christians struggle with homosexual desires, just as others struggle with heterosexual lust or eating disorders. There is no doubt in my mind that my friend has wholly committed his life to Jesus Christ. I have discussed Bible passages with him and been blessed by his insight. We have worked side by side at our church serving together. We have sat and talked together for hours about every imaginable subject, including our personal testimonies and questions about God. My friend is wise, passionate about ministry, and loves Christ with all of his heart.

By the world’s standards, my friend is gay. By church standards, my friend is a sinner. But by God’s standard, my friend is redeemed. He is a son of the Most High, just as much as I. It is likely that his intimate reliance on Jesus Christ lies at a deeper level than mine because of his struggle. He has been forced to wrestle with thoughts that I have never experienced and as a result has experienced God’s love in a way that I will never comprehend. And so I return to the opening topic: community. What good is Christian community if we do not share our deepest struggles with one another? How can we share the multi-faceted love of Jesus Christ without describing the journey we took to discover such love? And how can we hold each other accountable and encourage each other without knowing what to talk about? 

“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” -Galatians 6:1-2

    - H.W.

Make it a double.

I have a confession: I spent ten dollars on Starbucks coffee yesterday. 

When you consider the circumstances (and the quality of the coffee-drinking experience), the expense was well worth it. My intensive class meets every day from 8-11 AM, making it difficult to obtain an adequate amount of sleep. My travel mug filled with caffeinated goodness accompanies me faithfully every morning, although it did spill on one of my textbooks on the first day. That being said, I feel as though I crammed a week’s worth of activities into the past three days while only receiving about half the sleep needed to function properly within that particular length of time. The crazy weekend began on Friday with our second-to-last youth group meeting at Agape Chinese Evangelical Church before the summer. The activity for the evening? Water games. We spent two hours running around pelting one another with water balloons and pouring water on each other’s heads. I have never had more fun with the youth than I had that night, but I left soaked to the bone and ready to fall onto my pillow and sleep for a full 24 hours. Unfortunately, the Cedarville team from that night had plans to go to the Greene (a fancy outdoor mall about 35 minutes from CU) and watch Thor. Don’t misunderstand; the movie was great, and so was the cheesecake we consumed afterwards. But by the time we arrived back to campus at 12:30 that night, my energy reserves were running on empty.

Fast forward to 7:30 Saturday morning. My alarm went off, and I promptly reset it to 8:00. It wasn’t time to wake up yet. At 8, I showered and walked over to the chapel for worship rehearsal. We ran through our set list for Sunday a few times and laughed at the giant carp floundering around the surface of the lake directly outside the window. After that, my friends and I drove to Columbus. Our original plans to visit the zoo were foiled when we realized that it closed earlier than we had thought; being the poor college students we are, we decided that spending fourteen dollars on a ticket only to see a third of the animals would not be worth the money. Instead, we spent our time relaxing around the house and ate dinner at the Mexican restaurant that our friend’s parents own. The remainder of our night revolved around Anastasia, piano, and chocolate mousse and did not conclude until after 3 am. Four hours later, Steve and I left the sleepy house to make the hour-and-a-half drive back to play at church. (This trip is where I spent the first half of my Starbucks allotment for the day). I will not bore you with the details of the rest of the day, except to say it included another drive back to Columbus, more delicious Mexican food, birthday cake, three more Disney cartoons, piano improvisation, and of course the return trip to Cedarville and another stop at Starbucks to prepare us for the homework load we faced upon our arrival on campus. 

Am I still exhausted? Yes, even though I already took a nap today. Was the weekend worth it? Yes. Although the stated goal of college is to become an educated person ready to adopt a career and become successful, the social interactions are just as important. People, not books, cause you to grow as a person. Conversation can teach you to apply knowledge much more effectively than an exam. Obtaining the best college experience possible, much like the rest of life, is about balance. I may have missed out on quality time with my mattress this week, but to quote my roommate, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” Barista, make it a double.

Why Beautiful Things?

Beautiful things. If you attend Cedarville, you may have smiled after reading this title. Beautiful Things references the song with the same title by Michael Gungor. If you have never heard it, take a second and hop on over to Youtube. The song talks about how in very beginning, God created only beautiful things. He created a garden overflowing with beautiful flowers, vines, and fruit trees. He created beautifully patterned animals - cheetahs and zebras with velvety fur, peacocks and parrots with brilliantly colored feathers, beetles and butterflies so small that only the closest of observers can appreciate. Best of all, God created mankind in His own image. He formed us from the dust and breathed life into our bodies (Gen. 2:7). But in the abomination of sin, the greatest tragedy the world has ever and will ever experience, the pure beauty of God's creation was corrupted. Pain, death, and destruction seeped over every inch of the earth in an attempt to blot out all good, and extended even to the deepest depths of the human soul. But death forgot that the love of God is able to conquer even the most powerful darkness. God sent redemption through the death and resurrection of His son, Jesus Christ, and restores beauty to the broken. He transforms us back into beautiful things, back to fellowship with Himself. What once was lost is now found; what once was dirty is now clean; what once was broken is made new. It is made beautiful.

I never anticipated creating my own blog. I enjoy preserving memories, but usually prefer to do so by photographing every possible moment of my life. The day will never come that I will not enjoy flipping (or clicking) through a photo album and treasuring each precious memory. I also journal. Keeping a journal is easy, because it is for me. Writing in a journal frees me from censoring information that I do not wish everyone to know. Grammatical mistakes, creative word choice, and spelling are irrelavent irrelevant. However, I have recently realized that the truth the God chooses to reveal to me should not fall only on my ears. My memories and experiences should not bring joy only to my heart. As a follower of Jesus Christ, I recognize that every human being was made in the image of God and that every believer in Christ is my brother or sister. We are a family - a compilation of men and women with different stories who must laugh together, cry together, and stand up together. 

Do I have a plan for my writings? No. Neither do I expect you to remember or even read every word on this page. But if something interesting happens, you'll hear about it. If I'm confused about something or bored beyond belief, you'll probably hear about that too. Above all, I pray that the Lord uses something I post here to help someone, somewhere. Maybe even two someones. Soli deo gloria.

P.S. In case you were wondering, this is my wonderful sister who inspired me to make this blog. Go check hers out; it's pretty spectacular. http://rachaelgittings.blogspot.com/ Interns forever! ;) <3

Update: Most of my posts now will be about Australia!! Yay!! But I will continue to post other things... whatever is on my heart :) Love you all!