OneVoice May tour! That took place, obviously, during the month of May. Although challenging at times, I learned a lot about myself and even more about the Lord during that time. I watched him provide for us, and I experienced his grace as I learned to conduct myself more confidently, humbly, and selflessly. I watched his Spirit move in churches as we sang, danced, and worshiped him as the one true living God. That month will remain in my heart for a long time.
Kansas City! I took my first trip to Missouri at the end of May tour and visited Josh's family for a week, during which time we completed all three movies in the Lord of the Rings trilogy and drove six hours round trip to see my friend marry the girl of his dreams. The remainder of the week was spent taking Josh's little brothers to the pool, visiting a few sites in downtown Kansas City, playing Disney's Scene It, and meeting about a million people stretched between visits to Josh's high school, church, and graduation open house. I became a proponent of chocolate almond milk, kicked a soccer ball around the Sonic parking lot because our car had broken down, and discovered my treacherously nonexistent ability to ride a Rip Stick. We attempted to build a fire several times with only one successful effort, during which most of our marshmallows mysteriously disappeared thanks to sweet-toothed little brothers hanging around. Speaking of little brothers, they recruited me to attack Josh with Nerf guns on my first day there, and on a difference occasion informed their parents that Josh and I were alone in the bedroom with the door closed when we were actually out talking on the back porch. Needless to say, they made the trip much more entertaining.
Florida! I flew home from Kansas City and found myself on a plane to Orlando with my family only a few days later. The trip was only three days - one day spent with my grandparents at their condo by the ocean, and two split between Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure. Although short, we packed in a lot of memories involving Harry Potter world, Madagascar 3, and the new Despicable Me ride. Plus, my brother had never flown on a plane before, making the actual traveling much more exciting.
And then... home! Home. Finally, I was back. That was when things got weird. I couldn't find a job because the date was already mid-June, too late to apply for summer jobs when you're leaving for a difference state in less than two months. I felt out of place at church... too old to be in the youth group, and lost in the sea of one thousand adults who attend my church. So I sat at home, occasionally hanging out with friends on their days off, listening to their stories of work, making money, and socializing. I felt like no one needed me, so I was of no use to anyone and worthless as a result. I rarely received text messages or calls, and Facebook was an empty window to the rest of the world showing me all the fun everyone else was having. It sounds dramatic, and it was - but that was how I felt, so that was how I acted. I kept my feelings bottled up, because I didn't want to think about them. My relationship with God fell by the wayside... I wandered away from the stream of Living Water and gotten lost in my grassy field. I seldom opened my Bible because I was afraid of coming away empty.
Then I broke. I had talked to Josh on the phone almost every night throughout the summer, and he finally started pushing me more and more to deal with my feelings. And I cried, more than once, about a lot of different things. I started to recover, and spent time on my knees in prayer crying out for mercy and peace. I attended a college Bible study that had just begun at my church, and the relief of being honest about my struggles with someone and receiving encouragement helped lift the weight off my shoulders. My honest and urgent plea to you is to not let this happen to you. No one is exempt from falling away, because no one is safe from themselves. Choose Christ. Choose Christ every day, every moment. Otherwise, it's easy to slip and not notice until you're so far away that you don't know the way back. If you are already lost, realize that you cannot fight your way out alone because your heart will deceive you every time (Jeremiah 17:9).
On other summery notes, I came to Ohio for a week to re-paint my bedroom that I am living in this year. My brother and I drove to Buffalo, NY to visit family and see Niagara Falls. I also took a trip to Pennsylvania to watch two dear friends tie the knot. My last summer adventure took me to Illinois to see Josh and visit his new church where he works on staff as the worship leader. Maybe I'll tell you about that some other time, but this post has already gone a little long. And I don't want to distract you from my message to you in the previous paragraph... don't let your activities or your friends define you like I did. According to the message by Rob Turner this morning at Fall Bible Conference, that qualifies as idolatry. Don't fall into idolatry. Choose Christ.
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