New Day's Resolutions

I'm not a big fan of New Year's Resolutions for two reasons. First, all those bright and enthusiastic promises you make to yourself inevitably lead to disappointment. A few weeks (or months, if you're lucky), you slip back into your old ways, leaving your resolutions to rot in the ditch as you move on with your life. What once seemed like great ideas now seem horribly impossible, and you end up stuck in the old "I really thought I was going to stick to it this time" funk. Just visit your local YMCA once in January and again in April, and you'll see exactly what I mean.

The other reason I don't like New Year's Resolutions is that they provide a marvelous excuse to continue bad habits until January 1 rolls around again. Once your resolutions have suffered untimely deaths from the afore-mentioned fate, you now have numerous weeks and months to relax before you're allowed to try again. Making an annual attempt to change your habits is an unsurprisingly ineffective way to alter your daily routine. Daily life is just that - daily life, not yearly life. So today, I have some New Day resolutions to share with you.

• Check my phone less. I don't even have a smart phone, so no internet/facebook/twitter/angrybirds/templerun/wordswithfriends/yougettheidea. But I still pull it out constantly to check the time, or see if I have any texts that I missed. I should just get a watch. Last night, the vibrate mode stopped working properly... maybe that's a blessing in disguise.
• Spend intentional time with God every day. Whether it be diving deep into a Scripture passage, journaling a prayer, or sitting outside reflecting on the beauty of creation, I want to intentionally grow in my knowledge of God and his character. I say that He is the most important thing in my life, but do I act like it?
• Be on time. I'm late to things so often that late has become the new on time, because everyone expects me to be late. I can usually make it to "important" things on time - for example, I'm rarely late for class. But I always show up late for dinner with friends, etc. Bad habits spread... I want to be more responsible with my time. Plus, I don't want people to always have to wait for me.
• Stop procrastinating. For a while, I worked ahead in all of my classes, and it was wonderful. I completed assignments when I got them and avoided all sorts of stress. It was wonderful. Now that I have less work to do, it's really tempting to put it off. But again, I want to be responsible... and procrastination is a hard habit hard to break.
• Keep track of my spending. Having a debit card is great and terrible at the same time, because I don't have to carry much cash and rarely suffer from arm soreness caused by five extra pounds of dimes and pennies lost at the bottom of my purse... but since I always have money in my account, I don't keep track of how much I spend on what. It hasn't hurt me yet, but in the rapidly-approaching adult world, a lack of budgeting skills will cause a whole mess of problems.
• Read the news. With all the activities and responsibilities cramming into all the space in my life bubble, I don't read articles about what is going on outside my bubble as often as I should. I want to be in an informed citizen, and with all the available information out there, the responsibility to become one falls on my shoulders.

Why did I choose today to make these resolutions? I can't afford to make excuses any more, nor do I desire to make them. I'm quickly realizing that I'm an adult now. A few nights ago, my boyfriend and several other friends joyfully claimed their caps and gowns, their ticket into the real world time-stamped for 23 days from now. I'll be graduating from college in next year, and frankly, there's a lot that has to happen in those 389 days. I have no idea where I will go or what I will do once I walk across the stage in my own cap and gown. But I know that before that happens, some of my habits need to die hard and others need to become much more, well, habitual. And now that I've posted them on the internet, I have to stick to them because they'll never go away. So pray for me on my endeavors, friends. After all, you never know how much time you really have left.

"Never put off until tomorrow (or January 1) what you can do today."

- Thomas Jefferson

On the 10K

As of Saturday at 11:47am, I completed my second 10K. Don't get any ideas about my super-athletic ability; I actually walked the entire thing. (Not that I couldn't have run some of it... I was walking with two of my super-athletic friends who had a full marathon to run the next day.) Anyway, I participated in the 10K to support an organization in Nepal called the Red Thread Movement. Each year, Cedarville's chapter of International Justice Mission hosts a 6.2 mile race and donates all proceeds to a selected organization working to fight sex trafficking somewhere in the world. This year's recipient, the Red Thread Movement, partners with organizations in Nepal that maintain safe houses for rescued women, run border patrol between Nepal and India to catch traffickers transporting girls over the border, and provide vocational training for women as an alternate means of supporting themselves (read more about the Red Thread Movement here). IJM's goal this year was $10,000 - the slogan "10K for the 10K." 

Last year, as part of the volunteer planning committee, I was able to see the incredible amount of preparation and dedicated needed to pull of an event of such magnitude. I spent a few Saturdays visiting businesses in the Cedarville and Xenia areas asking for donations, and a few hours sitting at the registration table in Cedarville's student center. This year, although I was not as involved in the planning process, many of my friends are IJM officers and kept me filled in on how everything was going. Volunteers made a promotion video and posters, set up the website, found sponsors, obtained a park permit, and the list continues on and on. So much work for a single event, but an event that works to change people's lives. 

I love working with IJM. And what better place to promote social justice than a campus full of students who love Jesus and want to make a difference in the world in the name of Christ? 

Or so you'd think. 

For this year's 10K, we had close to 300 registered runners. Three hundred participants is a huge number for an org-sponsored event, especially at Cedarville where a hundred e-mails flood your inbox every day with promises of free candy, trivia games, and product sales supporting an worthy cause. (I learned my freshman year that it's not possible to buy every single t-shirt offered without depleting your entire bank balance in a single semester.) But I was still disappointed in the turnout. Let me explain.

Cedarville has around 3,200 students living in or around campus. Leaving a little giveway in the numbers for runners from outside Cedarville, that means that about one in eleven students ran the 10K. That's great, but a part of me emphatically insists that it's not enough. Most college students use their time between nine and noon on Saturdays for nothing more impactful than sleeping or Hulu. So why did we not have half of the student body participate? Or let's aim big... why not everyone?

Ignorance? I'm sorry, but no. You would have to live under a rock to not know about it. Announcements in chapel, posters in practically every building on campus, and a table with a catchy banner right between the campus coffee shop and the student mailboxes. Members of IJM gave presentations in their classes. Oh, and let's not forget the twenty-seven e-mails sent out to the entire Cedarville address book. The 10K would have been really hard to miss. 

Money? Maybe for some. But let's be real... this is Cedarville. We will pay close to 125 thousand dollars to our beloved institution by the time graduation rolls around. Granted, there are scholarships. Most students have to take out loans. But the incredible expense of our environment, not to mention the frequent dinners out, morning lattes, and filling up the gas tank, leads me to believe that only a small minority of students could not spare twenty dollars to help rescue to enslaved women. Besides, Biblical giving is supposed to be about sacrifice. The poor woman in Mark 12 gave all she had to the Lord, and Jesus said that she had given more than the rich men who gave large sums. Why are we afraid to give like this woman did? Are we afraid that God will not provide for us? I am afraid that many American Christians hug the word stewardship much too tightly and slip too far away from faith. 

Time? Time may be the most pervasive excuse that I heard. Many of the students I spoke with were going to be out of town, had to work, etc. And as a busy Cedarville student, I understand. Cedarville does a great job at giving you a schedule full of professors who think their class is the only one that matters, and subsequently providing a plethora of activities and ministry opportunities to fill any possible minute of spare time you might find. However, IJM offered options for students who could not physically attend the race. The Red Thread Movement provides materials for rescued Nepalese girls to make red bracelets, which we sold for $3. Students and faculty/staff with deeper pockets could sponsor runners, or simply donate money to the cause. No time, no help? I'm sorry, but I don't buy it. Even the "I have homework" excuse doesn't cut it in my book - I completed the race before noon, and I was one of the last to cross the finish line. Get real... vew few people actually have to study on Saturday morning.

And finally, the popular "I'm so bad at running!" Great. Me too. In fact, I hate to run long distances. In high school, my basketball team would run around the neighborhood surrounding our school for conditioning. During school on those days, I would think about the upcoming run all day, sometimes to the point that I would feel sick. (Yeah, it's lame. I know.) The magic seller with IJM's 10K is that it's actually a 10K Run/Walk. You're allowed to walk! In fact, a lot of people do. And just like the money excuse, part of the idea of the 10K is to experience something difficult. To push yourself out of our comfort zone and do something you would not normally do. This is something I need to remind myself of. The tagline for the Cedarville's 10K is something akin to "Possible Impossibilities. For some, running a 10K seems impossible. For others, escaping a life of sexual enslavement seems impossible. We are about making the impossible possible." So... you're bad at running? Good. Do it anyway.

Before some of you click the comment button while amidst gritted teeth and a red face, understand that this post is not meant to be an attack on those who chose not to participate in IJM's 10K. I also understand that my arguments are not airtight. My purpose in writing this is not to communicate anger or bitterness, but merely to convey my observations and frustrations. I want to make people think. To make you think. Think about your reasons for not helping a person in need when all it requires is a few hours of your time and a few dollars from your pocket. Are those reasons valid? Or are they just an excuse? 

In many Christian evangelical circles, living a godly life equals not drinking or having sex outside of marriage. To live a good Christian life, you must be a part of a nuclear family who attends church weekly and sends the kids to AWANA on Wednesday nights. You must have a stable, honest job and give 10% of your paycheck to the church. When it comes to evangelism, well, unless you're a missionary, your job is to invite your coworkers to the church picnic or maybe even a Bible study where the pastor will tell them about Jesus. None of the things I just mentioned are bad things. But isn't there more to living the Christian life? 

When talking to Cedarville students about the 10K, I could not help but mention my excitement. "Think about the incredible statement we could make if the entire student body ran a 10K to help woman enslaved in sex trafficking halfway around the world! What a great witness that would be to a society who sees Christians as self-centered hypocrites, or at the very best, no different from mainstream culture!" Alas, we failed to make such a statement. Please do not misunderstand me - I praise God for the three hundred participants and the money raised to help the Red Thread Movement. But I know the Cedarville student body, and the nagging question on my mind is this... couldn't we have done more?

To understand an influence that has pushed my thinking in this direction, read Radical by David Platt.

*Note: If you attend Cedarville (or even if you don't), I would love to hear a response to what I've been thinking about. Do you enthusiastically agree? Emphatically disagree?  I'd love to hear other thoughts on this! The comment box is right below this :)

You Changed Your Major?!?!?

This Week's Headline: I am no longer a biology education major.

To those of who you just threw up your hands and may need to raise your lower jaw, let me give you a moment to collect yourself. Ready? Let me explain.

Ever since high school, I have believed that God's path for my life involved teaching children and teenagers about creation. When I hear stories of church-going teenagers reject their faith because their teacher told them that Bible and science did not agree, my heart breaks. I cry for young girls and boys who believe that they are a freak accident of Mother Nature and have no lasting purpose for their existence. I want to teach the truth of the Bible and the wonder of science side by side. Cedarville's Life Science Education degree was the perfect fit. And so, two and a half years ago, my journey began. I took classes, classes, and more classes. Each semester I told myself, "You're just taking this many credits so that later on, the load will be lighter." I stand before you now about to begin my senior year, and my load was not going to be any lighter. In fact, next semester was going to be the busiest of all. But I was ready. I could handle it. I would have to give up some of my non-academic activities, but I would graduate with a degree ready to fulfill my destiny.

Then I started field experience at an urban charter school in Dayton. My teacher, although hospitable, was not very personable and did not even introduce me to his class on the first day. I observed the students pay him no respect or attention during the entire lecture. I realized that I did not want to come back the next day. But that was not the only stressor in my life that week. I had more schoolwork than I knew what to do with. I felt like I was neglecting my friends, my boyfriend, and my roommate because I had no time to spend with them. I skipped a concert I was supposed to be a part of because I could not attend enough rehearsals to learn the music. I backed out of volunteering at IJM's 10K that I had been so excited to help with. I was skipping meals because I had so much to do and no time to do it. I was tired - really tired. And field experience required that I be ready to leave campus by 6:25am every single day. I didn't know what to do. I cracked.

I started looking for any possible way out of field experience. But I knew that if I was going to graduate, I had to complete it. Unless.... unless I changed my major. But that's impossible, right? You can't change your major going into senior year. Unless.... unless you're a double major. Which I was. I had an epiphany: if I dropped my education major, I could graduate on time. I could save $25,000. I could actually enjoy my last year of undergrad instead of spending seven hours a day in class and getting up at 5:30am. I would have time to play music and hone my piano and guitar skills. I could finally learn to play the viola I bought on a whim last year but haven't had any time to play. I could take interesting classes for fun instead of hard classes for, well, not fun. I would have time to read things, time to write things, time to make things. Life would just be so much... better.

Now you blurt out the question, "But what about your purpose? Your destiny? Are you just throwing God's plan for your life down the drain because his path seems too hard?" I do not believe so. My ultimate purpose is to stay by His side and allow Him to lead me in whatever direction He chooses through showing love for my neighbor and honoring His name. I would still like to become a teacher someday, but I do not have to become one through Cedarville's education program. But over the past three years at Cedarville, God has given me a passion for other areas where truth and justice must be implemented. I have grown to understand that "God's will for my life" is not limited to a single path that I can follow or reject. Through prayer and the counsel of my parents, my professors, and my friends, I made the decision to drop my education major. I will finish this semester with twelve credits, one of which is tutoring biology students at the high school across the street. I'm not totally dumping this whole teaching thing just yet!

And so, I changed my major. I will graduate with a Bachelor of Arts in biology, a Bible minor, a music minor, and completion of the honors program. And if I return to college for a teaching degree, I have a plethora of education classes already on my transcript. Not too shabby, if I do say so myself. But even more importantly, I will graduate and leave Cedarville University with a better understanding of myself and of my Savior. I will leave with life-long friendships made and life-long lessons learned. I will finish, and I will finish well.

Blessings of Grace

The magnitude of God’s blessings are overwhelming at times. That’s how I’ve been feeling recently. Although some of my excitement might be due to the multiple espresso shots running ramped  through my system after a three-hour cat nap last night, God’s blessings still abound. I shake my head whenever I take a moment to reflect on the extent of my brokenness… my selfish tendencies, my prideful thoughts, my perfect Christian façade that often takes me captive while I live in ignorance. I am human. No one will ever be able to convince me that the human race is inherently good, because even though I am “good” by the world’s standards, I often wake up overwhelmingly ashamed of myself. I constantly make decisions I regret, hurt the people I love most, and neglect to care for my neighbor. But somehow, God’s grace shines brighter than all of my shortcomings. He has blessed me to the point that I cannot fathom why He would do such things. I can only accept them with gratefulness and awestruck praise. Here I am, an upperclassman honors student at Cedarville University driving in the fast lane on what many would consider the road to success. I have friends who love me… friends who forgive me when I do something stupid, eat meals at off times to accommodate my hectic schedule, bring me coffee when I’m tired, and put encouraging notes in my mailbox. I have a family at home who will drop whatever they are doing to talk on the phone when I call. I don’t deserve it. 

I guess we’re all in the same situation, really. We’re all screwed up on the inside. It’s a part of the world we live in. Human nature. But by God’s grace, we can stand to live in harmony with one another. With God’s love, we can love one another even at our most unlovable moments. Through God’s eyes, we can see the beauty shine through all the ugliness surrounding us. Thank you, Jesus, for your grace. Thank you for your love. And thank you for making us beautiful when our best attempts yield only failure. Reflect on your blessings today... and allow yourself to be overwhelmed.

Sex and Football: America’s Favorite Pastimes

Did the title catch your attention? Good. That was the general idea. Keep reading.

According to the official NFL countdown clock, we have approximately two days, seventeen hours, and thirty-one minutes, and eleven seconds until Super Bowl XLVI. This year, America’s favorite sporting event kicks off in Indianapolis in what promises to be an epic battle between the New England Patriots and the New York Giants. About 150,000 people will pour into the city for the weekend to take part in the excitement and gorge themselves on beer, mini corn-dogs, and smack talk. Millions of other Americans representing all races, economic statuses, and religions will set apart their differences and plop down in front of a television to root for their favorite team. But what most Americans do not realize is that behind the television cameras, over-confident announcers, and fans with painted faces, thousands of women will be forced to perform sexual acts only blocks away from the stadium.

The Super Bowl provides one of the largest (if not the largest) marketable moments for sex traffickers around the country. At Super Bowl XLV, an estimated 10,000 women were trafficked into Dallas and strategically placed in hotels, motels, strip clubs, etc. for the erroneous pleasure of way-too-excited football fans enjoying a weekend vacation. For all you visual learners, the baseball stadium pictured below holds about 10,000 people. Enough broken women and children (and even a handful of men) to fill this stadium were transported into the city to be sold Super Bowl weekend, and in the next twenty-four hours, the same thing will likely take place.

Once you’ve let that mental image sink in, let’s break it down even farther. If we guess that each woman or child serviced a conservative ten men on Friday night and ten men on Saturday night, that adds up to a staggering 200,000 counts of sexual abuse in a single city over a time period when the rest of America sits back and screams profanities  at the television screen when the referee makes a bad call. Two. Hundred. Thousand. These women lay in silent screams, invisible to the world, even though the world is watching the event taking place a few miles away. Are you squirming yet? You should be.

It’s not all bad news. In the past several weeks, Indiana has fast-tracked a new piece of legislation implementing harsher punishments for both traffickers and johns (you can read more about the new Indiana law here). A victory has already been won. But new laws will not make the problem disappear. Traffickers are clever and determined human beings, unwilling to surrender such a profitable weekend because of a few new strands of red tape. Something greater has to be done.

Since I have no idea who will be reading this post, let me conclude with a statement for everyone.

• To my brothers and sisters in Christ: Pray, fast, and pray some more. I believe with all of my heart that the trafficking industry is one of Satan’s strongest footholds in our society. Pray for the women being exploited to remain strong and hopeful. Pray for the johns to find something else to do that night. Pray for the traffickers to see the faces of the women they control. Pray for law enforcement to open their eyes and rescue women and arrest traffickers. Pray that God would intervene in mighty ways by binding the powers of Satan and his demons at work in Indianapolis.

• To my peers at Cedarville University: Obviously, all of my statements above apply to you as well. Also, choose to participate in the 24-hour fast between noon Friday (Feb. 3) and noon Saturday (Feb. 4). Take that time specifically to fervently pray. At 9:30am on Saturday, we will meet in the BTS atrium to begin a prayer walk. Some will be traveling to Indy that afternoon to prayer walk in the city; others will stay on campus and pray here. The choice is up to you.

• To residents of Indianapolis, particularly hotel workers and law enforcement officers: Don’t be ignorant. And don’t be apathetic. If you see something suspicious  (you can read about signs of trafficking here), report it. DO something.

• To any man who accidentally stumbled across this blog while looking for a Super Bowl companion: You’re sick. Yes, I said it. Need I say it again? Step into the shoes of the girl who will be in your bed, and ask yourself what she will be thinking about. Pretend the girl is your sister, daughter, wife. Because she’s somebody’s daughter, sister, or wife. Be a real man, a man who doesn’t need to exploit a woman or child to have a good time.

• To everyone: Sex trafficking doesn’t only happen on Super Bowl weekend. It happens every day, all across the United States. Don’t pretend it doesn’t exist. Ignoring the enslaved women and girls (or worse, blaming them for their situation) only hurts them more.

"A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Therefore, put on every piece of God's armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God's righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere."

     - Ephesians 6:10-18, NLT

For more information on how to stop human trafficking, visit http://www.notforsalecampaign.org/ or http://www.polarisproject.org/. Look for specific information on trafficking in your area. Do something.

Rediscovering God's Love

Have you ever stopped your worship mid-sentence and raised your hands just to meditate on the greatness of God? 

Have you ever felt joy bubble up from within your soul and overwhelm you to the point that you can't help but jump up and down and raise a shout? 

Have you ever felt the heavy press of awe and wonder of the Lord push you down to the floor in surrender?

What I have just described to you, friends, is worship. I was blessed to experience this type of worship this past weekend at Bowling Green State University's annual Gospelfest weekend. Although I missed the extra sleep and time of relaxation a weekend would normally bring, what I experienced was far more valuable. God found me this weekend, and allowed me to experience Himself in a way that I never had before. During the first night of worship, God impressed upon me that He is the only One that matters. Being a Christian comes with responsibility - we are to love our neighbor, respect our parents, defend the poor and the widow. We must treat one another as we would like to be treated, and bear each other's burdens. Christians are called to pray for one another, fellowship with one another, and serve one another. We are commanded to love those who do have not yet turned to Christ, pray for them, and tell them about the gospel. Essentially, the call of a Christian is to love and serve others. Right?

Wrong. In Luke 5:26, Jesus says, "If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple." What?? That's a pretty radical statement. I thought we were supposed to love other people, not hate them! Yes. Here is the point that I believe Jesus is making: Our love for Yahweh must be so deeply ingrained within our being that all other love - for our parents, children, siblings, etc. - pales in comparison. Our love for God should penetrate our core. God's love should define us. We must love Him so much that all other love seems like hate. 

What makes God's love so distinctive? Why can't our own love for others be enough? For that matter, how do we discern God's love from our love? Isn't it all the same? One wonderful mysterious characteristic of the love of God is that we are not capable of containing it. When we love God this much, it spills over onto other people. We show people God's love, not our own love. Why should we respect our parents, bear burdens, serve others? We should do these things not because we love the people, but because we love God! Another amazing unfathomable characteristic of the love of God is that God's love never fails. Let's be honest with ourselves. There are times when we simply have no more love to give. Our bodies become tired, our minds fill with stress, bitterness, anger, and apathy. There are days when we just don't feel like loving anyone. But God's love never fails! It never runs out; there is always more love to be given. Finally, God's love is everything that everyone needs. Our love cannot save humanity from sin. Our love cannot restore creation. Our love cannot transform lives from the inside out. But oh, God's love... God's love can.

God's love. God's love. God's love. God is the only One that matters, because without reliance on His love, we will fail in all of our endeavors to bring him glory. We cannot love others without first coveting the love of Yahweh. So next time you worship, forget about the people standing next to you. Forget that the worship leader sang the wrong words to the second stanza. Forget that the guitarist has a new haircut. Forget that you're sick and your singing voice isn't up to par. Pray to Yahweh and ask Him to overwhelm you with love. Ask Him for a glimpse of glory. But beware; His love can be overwhelming. You may need to raise your hands. You may need to jump up and down. You may need to fall on your face. But it doesn't matter, because you've forgotten about the people standing next to you. It's just you, God, and His unending love.

"Your love never fails
It never gives up
It never runs out on me
Because on and on and on and on it goes
It overwhelmes and satisfies my soul"

-One Thing Remains, Jesus Culture

And the time flew.

For the past twenty-two days, I have been soaking in every moment of my third Christmas break as a college student. Tonight I went to watch my little brother's basketball game (and I use the term "little brother" lightly; my baby bro is now several inches taller than me and built like a man). Eight alumni from our high school, including myself, made an appearance at the game. One of them is now a teacher and the basketball coach at the opposing school. Another is married. One of our favorite teachers also holds a position at the other school; she attended the game as well, and a few of us stood in the gym talking to her long after the final buzzer sounded. Being so close to people from the past brought a strange sense of deja vu and nostalgia. It amazes me to think that it has been years since we were all together, and today we rarely contact one another. Yet all of us remain attached by those few years in high school together. We laughed over common memories, shared stories, and discussed our current endeavors. It occurred to me that the thread of familiarity we all felt was not only superficial, but rather the effects of our decisions and journeys years ago have affected one another now. 

And so I wonder - how do my choices today affect the people who are close to me? We may not stay friends forever, but we make an imprint on one another that will never fade. Every conversation, every step, and even every youtube link is another line in our life story that can never be unwritten. It is my desire to guide people always in the right direction, never the wrong. Because some things cannot just be undone. Here is my challenge to myself and to you: Lead others in the path of righteousness. Be a blessing to someone today. You never know how a small ripple on someone's life can lead to a huge wave of change.

As Elphaba wisely says... "So much of me is made from what I learned from you. You'll be with me like a hand print on my heart. And now whatever way our stories end, I know you have re-written mine by being my friend."

Don't wait to make a difference.